This blog is my personal story. A story about a woman learning who she is over a lifetime, no matter what traumas, depression, or other problems may come up. For true progress is in being true to oneself.
Depression can’t stop me
While I haven’t lived as long as some others, with all my experiences it feels like I’ve lived a while. I have been diagnosed with depression yet I have lived a fulfilling and successful life. For over 14 years, I have had a promising career that motivated me to build my own business. I have had several hobbies, such as writing and modeling. I also enjoy physical activities, and for over a decade, I was a cyclist.
While I’m the person who’s usually reaching out to others and encouraging them to be their best, I have a tough time being that person for myself. On top of depression, I have fought with body dysmorphia, rage, panic attacks, high anxiety, and burnout so severe that I can’t handle even basic day-to-day things.
On top of all this, like many others, I have experienced a variety of trauma in my life. Growing up I lived in a household consumed by addiction, domestic abuse, and at some points poverty. In my adult years, I repeated many of the mistakes made by the adults who raised me.
I’m not alone, and neither are you
The point of this blog is to share my story. Not just talk about the depression or treatments, but to give you the first-person perspective of the world from my point of view. Those of us with depression are often seen as being dark, isolated, and lonely. This isn’t always true.
Some of us with depression are very positive, outgoing people. We don’t like to talk about our feelings. We are afraid of being seen as weak or wrong in the head. We desire companionship and often imagine ourselves surrounded by people, even as we push them away. Not all our thoughts are filled with pain, suffering, and death. Sometimes we want to reach out to someone else and say, “Hey, look at me, I exist,” because we feel like no one cares.
I smile so you can smile
I’m here to tell you my story so you can feel safe sharing yours. Once we start talking about what’s going on in our heads and what we’re feeling, it becomes easier to process and move forward. As we move forward, we can find more and more things to smile about, even as we feel pain.
I’m not a psychiatrist or counselor and I cannot tell you how to cure your depression or how to deal with your traumas. I can however suggest habits, products, and services that have worked for me and others. Whether you use them or not is up to you. Ultimately we are all in control of our decisions and therefore our destinies.
If you ever need someone to talk to or have any questions, feel free to leave them below, and I will be more than happy to help you out.
All the best,